I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
jump out the window naked night went bad
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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