Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
