Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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