I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
