And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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