We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Two words: nipple clamps
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