Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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