my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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