my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
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Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
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I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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