i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
