dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
