Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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