why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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