Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
