Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
