Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
