wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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