I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
