its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
