Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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