Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
