so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
