i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
