Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
