So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Randomize
