The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
