im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize