I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
