You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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