hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just tell him i said nine months
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize