Whod you bang
did you get engaged???
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
