I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
