when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
