He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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