on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
