i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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