so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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