Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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