When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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