I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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