Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
