A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
