They should really pass out barf bags in church
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My vagina is very pro this idea
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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