Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
