so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
