When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
All the doctor said was why
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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