At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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