he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
