I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Did you just see the Batmobile???
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
