I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize