im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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