I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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