plz talk dirty to me
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
