dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
