see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
