Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
