You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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