if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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