There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
