Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i came on her dog
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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