Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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