so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
